Do You Really Have to Go to the Holiday Party?

December - where the f did you come from?! This edition of Sticky Situations is apropos for this time of the year - Do I have to go to the company holiday party?!

Read on to see if these painful social gatherings are necessary, plus tips on less-awkward networking.

The Situation

Every year around the holidays, our leader hosts a holiday party. Everyone groans when the invite comes out. I do not want to go. Attending requires me to travel, get childcare, figure out an appropriate outfit, and be “on” for the night. At the end of the day, it’s just required face time with senior leaders. Do I have to go or is there a professional way to skip?

My Take

Let’s get right to it. Yes, you should go. If you want to progress in your career and continue building your rapport at work, then you should show up. Not because it’ll be fun (it probs won’t).

But because in corporate life, visibility and relationships matter—especially with senior leaders who rarely see you outside a meeting or slide deck.

Think of this as a strategic social touchpoint, not “mandatory fun.”

And you do not need to (or should you) talk shop, pitch your accomplishments, or recap your Q4 wins. Let’s make this as efficient, effective, and painless as possible.

1️⃣ Before You Go: Some Simple Prep

This is the part people skip and then they end up in awkward small-talk purgatory. Here’s how to prep so you feel confident walking in (and not immediately scanning for the nearest food table to hide behind):

✔️ Time-box it

Commit to 60–90 minutes. You don’t need to be the last person there. In fact, don’t be the last person there.

✔️ Prep 3 non-work conversation starters

Keep them human, warm, and easy:

“Any fun plans for the holidays?”

“Did you see that viral [insert safe, funny current event]?”

“What was the best thing you watched/read/listened to this year?”

✔️ Prep 1 personal-but-light share

Something they may remember but nothing too deep:

• A travel plan

• A hobby you picked up

• A favorite book or show

• A funny or memorable moment from the year

Choose something genuine that you feel good talking about.

✔️ Define your ‘success criteria.’ Remember this is a strategic touchpoint, not a fun event. What do you want to get out of it?

Example: “Say hi to my VP, have 2 real conversations, avoid standing alone pretending to text, and leave by 8:15.”

2️⃣ At the Event: The Game Plan

Instead of wandering around, hoping for the right moment, go in with intention.

✔️ Arrive on time: It’s calmer. People are easier to approach.

✔️ Go straight to your leaders

A simple opener works:

“Hi! Good to see you. Thanks for hosting — the theme this year is so fun.”

“Have anything fun planned for the holidays?”

Time to bust out the questions you prepped.

✔️ Talk about life, not slides

Safe, neutral topics that actually build connection, like the ones you prepped.

• Travel

• Books or shows

• Holiday traditions

• Food/drinks

• The party theme

• Hobbies

Humans bond over human things. (And your leader will be relieved you didn’t corner them about Q1 priorities.)

✔️ When the convo dips, redirect gently

Use questions. Questions signal curiosity.

“What are you looking forward to next year?”

“What’s your favorite thing about this season?”

At Amazon, I worked in the grocery space and it was always easy to ask about favorite holiday recipes, new beverage trends, or new yummy products.

These break the tension and spark authenticity.

✔️ Exit with grace and simplicity - no excuses necessary!

You: “I’ll let you mingle — great seeing you!”

Them: “They’re so great.”

3️⃣ Leave Early and Guilt-Free

You showed up. You engaged. You were warm, present, and curious. Staying all night is not helping your career.

4️⃣ If You Truly Can’t Go

Life happens. Conflicts happen. Childcare and travel are real. If you can’t make it, send a note.

“Unfortunately I won’t be able to attend this year due to a personal conflict. I’m disappointed to miss it — I always appreciate the chance to connect with everyone! Thank you for a great year and wishing you a restful holiday season.”

Final Take

You don’t have to love the holiday party. But with a little prep, a few human conversation starters, and a strong exit strategy, you can turn it into a simple, low-lift visibility moment that builds your rapport and your personal brand at work.

Execute your plan and then feel good getting into your PJs at a decent hour.

P.S. But don’t get home before the kids’ bedtime routine! Circle the block if you have to. Can’t think of many worse things than a forced holiday party AND putting your kids to bed.